i sit here in the mouth of confusion.
I’m caught by this bursting forth of whathaveyou and i’m able to connect to my best friend (my second heart and home), and she asks simply, “are you feeling bad, sad, mad or glad?”… a question fit for a newborn and how apropos for me, someone much older but who’s mind doesn’t function very well amidst intense feeling.
right now i suppose i’m feeling sad, very very sad. sad for the mass sociopathic behavior of the city. sad for life not remaining just the same until we are absolutely ready for it to change. sad for confusion and sad for not being able to remedy emotional dysfunction —the steady companion of humanity.
and maybe… maybe i’m feeling mad too. maybe i’m mad for being frequently betrayed by my brain. how is it that you desire and despise the same EXACT THINGS?!? maybe you’re a creature within me on your own painful journey, following the folds of your map to understanding.
and maybe i’m feeling sad and mad for not being able to meet my challenge of withholding judgement for myself and others. life is so difficult, better that i love than have an opinion.
